Cat Techie Pillows

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

"First date hairball... awkward."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

Giraffe Selfie

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"It's the cat doc, he scares me."

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

Sober Tooth Tiger

I don't need lobster and music and wine....

"It slowly dawned on Edwin who exactly had stolen his steroids."

"Do you guys want to go for a walk?"

"Hiya, Beautiful! What's your access code?"

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Wonders of evolution: Same face, totally different meaning.

"I vow to never again bat around someone else's fuzzy mouse."

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

'I know what you're thinking.'

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

"Owning a pet is a big responsibility, not to mention never wearing dark clothing again."

Rats cutting loose a dog so it can chase a cat.

'Quick, act like a dog. My friend just busted us.'

One-man band - One-man office

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

"The serotonin is deafening."

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."