Cat Lady In Denial Pillows

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

"Depressed? No doubt. Overwhelmed? Obviously. Crazy? I don't think so."

"I loved the bit where you hid under the seat."

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

The Cat's Alarm Clock

'I'll have the steak and she'll have the tuna.'

"Love means I narrowly chose you over a bunch of cats."

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

My Bowl Is Empty.

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

'I want to talk about your efforts to increase sales, Robert.'

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

'I wouldn't have brought the cat if I'd know he had to be naked too.'

'Im going to invest all your pension money in cat nip!'

"I hope you don't mind, I can't sleep without them."

Pandora's other box

'Be careful, Doctor Trefz, she doesn't like men!'

'I don't care how cold it is outside. You're not wearing the cat!'

'When I snap you'll be the first to go.'

'I don't know - with all these feathers you'd think there'd be a bird in here somewhere.'

Cat Lady

"The mainstream media has entered into a global conspiracy to make us less popular than dogs."

"The scratchpost is for the cat, the other one is for my son."

101 uses of a dead cat: slingshot.

"Cat got your tongue, vicar?"

'Yeah, I think we might need to call a plumber. It's overflowing again.'

First Cats to be Domesticated

"But when she got there, the cupboard was bare, and so the poor dog had none."

"Wilma Kooney strangled on cat hair."

Sorry Dear, until they put mice into tins you'll have to make do with chicken.

101 uses of a dead cat: stool