Cat Lady In Training Pillows

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

"First date hairball... awkward."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"It's the cat doc, he scares me."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

'I tried to organize a stampede, but everybody has their own agenda.'

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

Sober Tooth Tiger

"It slowly dawned on Edwin who exactly had stolen his steroids."

The Cat's Alarm Clock

"Do you guys want to go for a walk?"

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'Wow! That yogapilates has really paid off!'

'I'll have the steak and she'll have the tuna.'

Wonders of evolution: Same face, totally different meaning.

"Love means I narrowly chose you over a bunch of cats."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"Geez, Gary. How long you been workin' in that garden?"

"I vow to never again bat around someone else's fuzzy mouse."

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

'I know what you're thinking.'

My Bowl Is Empty.

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

'Quick, act like a dog. My friend just busted us.'