Cat Joke Appreciator Pillows

"No, it's not an earthquake. All my cats are purring."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

Laughing Zone Ahead

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

Cat Zoom Meeting

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

'I'm counter - intelligence'

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

Medicine bottle - If symptoms persist, die!

OMG.

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

'I'd probably do a lot better if the teachers weren't set to 'auto-correct.''

'I gave her that ball of yarn...'

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

"Smart Arse"

Shortly Thereafter, They Would Make Sweeping Changes To Their Policies.

Smart 3 Piece Suite.

"How embarrassing, I'm literally glued to the television."