Cat Guardian Gifts

'Fluffy got lost in his cat condo!'

"While I'm away for the weekend, would you mind feeding my paranoia?"

'Kyle, don't run with a beak in your mouth.'

'She gets a little paranoid when someone sits too close to her kittens!'

Cats on Board.

The Cat Spa

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

'I really hate cleaning this thing.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"There's no money in your uncle's will. You are, however, directed to maintain his 5 cats and Facebook account."

" ... then subtract 75 pounds for the cat ... "

"No not the puppy please"

"Invisible fences, voiced activated pet doors, automatic pet dispensers, how's an old dog supposed to keep up with all this new technology."

Shepherd watching sheep on closed circuit TV

"Try to act scared...he thinks he's a Rottweiler!"

"He calls it an 'accident' but you and I both know that was no accident."

'138 Days without an accident!'

Nesting Camp, Pecking Camp, Cock-a-D00dle-Doo Camp … Whatever happened to growing up free-range?

"Don't push her off! Can't you see she's exhausted?"

"I've learned not to expect a lot of cooperation."

Animals for the Ethical Treatment of People

"We've been sent a few army vets to help with the culling"

'Unfortunately, Rex didn't realize he was about to pee on an electric fence...'

Don't forget to feed the python...

"I'm beginning to think I'm the only one without a dog."

When it's time to change the kitty litter box - at the very latest.

"And this will protect him from distemper."

Flood-stricken woman saves goldfish

'Don't! It's one of my dad's furballs!'

An angel in heaven is walking an angel dog.

Old cat with its own stair lift

'Scamp, this is Doctor Drummond. Stop scratching! Stop it!'

'Oh, great! And we don't have any dry insurance!'