Cat Furniture Tester Pillows

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"Curiosity."

'And once more with feeling.'

"He's into binge fetching."

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'

"I can't explain it, I have this irresistible urge to lie on his keyboard when he's working at home..."

Teach your cat to read self-help manuals

"There ya go. Cushion rot from farting into the same old chair for 40 years"

'We're gonna need a bigger couch.'

A British policeman looking for a black cat who is in the hedge behind him.

Sick Exhibitionist

"You just had to swipe at that fish."

"I can't tell whether my cat is happy or sad."

"Oh, I'm not lost. I just like your flowerbeds better."

'Thanks to me, you can save the money for the cat food from now on and put it into more reasonable investments!'

"A cat wouldn't answer."

"He always has to get the last 'meow' in."

'It's just a laser pointer, Mr. President. It's not a little mouse. Don't let people distract you with these things...Mr. President?..Hello!?'

"Mittens, you are one wacky cat."

"Comparison is the thief of joy, Mittens."

"I think I have allergies to something in this room."

"Normally I hate technology but that I like."

Honk If You Hate Cats

Fat Kid 33- Stops playing with the cat

"At last, the laser pointer is mine. Now I am the master."

'Don't touch that -- I think it's some sort of art object.'

Edward Chester relates his adventures

"I've just overheard Mistress talking to her lawyer: We're in her will!"