Cat Fancy Monarch Gifts

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'The cats love getting some fresh air, and it's the warmed coat I've ever had.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

I can't wait 'til her tryouts for "Cats" are over.

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'We know you have a cat.'

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

"Oh, we've got to nip this little trick in the bud right away."

"The narrative seems contrived."

Cat with Crown.

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

The ambush.

'Cat scans are for felines. I will give your dog a pet scan.'

'In the future you will address me as 'Your Royal Highness'.'

"Number two all over but leave it shaggy on top"

"He said the only thing he wanted for his birthday was a wave machine."

Rex had always suspected his wife was being unfaithful, but it was worse than that...much worse.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Graeae

"She feeds me the same stuff every single day, yet I can't help approaching it like I have NO idea what it could possibly be!"

Cat's Valentine

'Guarding the house, bringing Master his newspaper and slippers does not require much skill, does it? Catching mice, on the other hand...'

'Don't give me that 'hairball' excuse again. Just admit it - you don't like my cooking!'

'...paddlecat is said to have contributed to much of the tension that exists between the two species, even today.'

Kittens and snake.

'Next please.'

'No, they won't have kittens. They are brother and sister.'

Cat wins lottery and vows to carry on working.

"You haven't napped until you've napped on the hood of a '57 Chevy."

'I don't know - with all these feathers you'd think there'd be a bird in here somewhere.'

"They don't have a dish named chicken-a-la-queen, do they?"

Treatment would eventually prove to be completely ineffective. And that for cats, being psychotic is perfectly normal.

Alleyway cat

It turns out she's more of an outdoor cat