Cat Debater Pillows

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Dialogue

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"Now that's a win."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Netanyahu versus Gantz

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Always Compatible

'Sure, they have nine lives, but they spend eight of them asleep.'

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

"If I vote my conscience, it's Sanders. If I vote my pocketbook, it's Trump. If I vote my emotions, it's Hillary. If I vote my anger, it's Cruz..."

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

Like Minded

And now, for a rebuttal.

The last word.

"If they shorten political campaigns, what will we do for entertainment?"

Global warming debate.

Approved Debate Questions

"When I was a teenager 'Saturday Night Live' had Mike Myers, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman..."

'My opponent hates cats.'