Cat Courtsure Gifts

'How long did you work as a cat whisperer?'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

The Not So Wild West

I think the cat wants to go out.

Puss in Heels

'How much did you save this year?'

Customer Complaints - "Thank you, Thompson, for collecting the statistics."

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

Cat Olympics

'I don't know what these things are, but Master spends a lot of time away from the house with them...'

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

'There's a cat in our yard! Release the hounds!'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

101 uses of a dead cat: rollerskates

"I'm sorry. How did I know what he would do to your cat if I let him play with it?"

"The meaning of life is cats."

"She's a weiner cat."

'Hey, Dad! Kitty worked out how to use her new cat-door!'

A British policeman looking for a black cat who is in the hedge behind him.

I tried thinking outside the box once. That was a big mistake!

'In space no one can hear you miaow.'

'He got a splinter from his scratching post.'

'Sure, we could fetch things for them, but why raise their expectations.'

'And you're quite sure it's just a hypothetical cat?'

"It seems like a good idea, but is it scalable?"

"I'm so glad I have a job where I can contribute nothing to society from home."

A cat resting after eating a bucket of fish

Lucy was not just a wicked witch...she was like totally wicked!!

"I can't tell whether my cat is happy or sad."

"I'm getting out of the dog walking business! Last night I chased a cat up a tree!"

Cat wins lottery and vows to carry on working.

"We had him neutered,"

A dog cruising around in his car looking for cats, sporting his number of kill badges of cats on the side of his car.