Cat Courtsure Gifts

'How long did you work as a cat whisperer?'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

I think the cat wants to go out.

The Not So Wild West

"Wait a minute. Have you guys thought about how this thing is supposed to fit in there?"

'How much did you save this year?'

Puss in Heels

Customer Complaints - "Thank you, Thompson, for collecting the statistics."

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

Cat Olympics

'I don't know what these things are, but Master spends a lot of time away from the house with them...'

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

101 uses of a dead cat: rollerskates

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

"I'm sorry. How did I know what he would do to your cat if I let him play with it?"

'There's a cat in our yard! Release the hounds!'

"The meaning of life is cats."

"She's a weiner cat."

'Hey, Dad! Kitty worked out how to use her new cat-door!'

I tried thinking outside the box once. That was a big mistake!

'In space no one can hear you miaow.'

'He got a splinter from his scratching post.'

"Shake hands, Mitten! Rexy here does it! Come on! So can you!"

A British policeman looking for a black cat who is in the hedge behind him.

'Sure, we could fetch things for them, but why raise their expectations.'

'And you're quite sure it's just a hypothetical cat?'

"It seems like a good idea, but is it scalable?"

"I can't tell whether my cat is happy or sad."

Cat wins lottery and vows to carry on working.

A cat resting after eating a bucket of fish

"We had him neutered,"

"I'm so glad I have a job where I can contribute nothing to society from home."

Lucy was not just a wicked witch...she was like totally wicked!!

'I tell you what: Mistress' lap was so much more comfortable before she started her diet...'