Cat Conversation Analyst Pillows

"I've just overheard Mistress talking to her lawyer: We're in her will!"

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Do you think the birds like me?"

The bluebird of passive-aggressiveness

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'...and notice how they like playing with string.'

The psychiatrist.

'And once more with feeling.'

'Sometimes I think they understand every word we're saying.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'You know, sometimes I think we don't even speak the same body language.'

'Do you get the feeling there isn't much substance in most conversations?'

"I can't explain it, I have this irresistible urge to lie on his keyboard when he's working at home..."

"You know what I bet it is? I bet we're breaking up but we just don't realize it yet."

"May I air-quote you?"

Teach your cat to read self-help manuals

"Making a documentary about a week in the life of a cat has proved to be less challenging than I anticipated."

'Nice talking to you, but would you please excuse me? I need to get some air...'

"The vet wants me to go vegan so it's going to be catch and release for a while."

"Matsuzaka has an ERA of 3.88, yet Francona’s starting Schilling. Doesn’t that seem counterintuitive to you?"

"Oh, I'm not lost. I just like your flowerbeds better."

'Anyway, enough about you. Let's talk about me.'

"Comparison is the thief of joy, Mittens."

Develop Your Social Skills: Try asking about something someone just said....

Chat Show, "Bonsoir. Comment Allez-Vous?"

'I think Pookie wants her supper.'

"Events are unfolding very slowly."

"He's into binge fetching."

"No, I mean literally literally!"

'So far, I've lost three pounds on the Ratkins Diet!'

"Is oversleeping a real thing?"

"You're trying to stifle a yawn, Henry. I saw your nostril twitch!"