Cat Conspiracy Theorists Pillows

"I can't meet you in the park today. The cats suspect something."

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

"Read a little about it"

"The human is back - act normal."

"Picnic Area 51"

"We've been told to inform you that the NSA, FBI, CIA, nor any other government agency cares what you say or do."

'This bottle stainless steel cleaner...if it's stainless...why would you need a cleaner?'

The Ungooglable Man

"Good luck with your interview. And remember, they can't discriminate based on how many lives you have left."

'Just so you know, I've no intention of sharing a home with either children or cats.'

'Watch her, she's a whistle blower!'

"The mainstream media has entered into a global conspiracy to make us less popular than dogs."

When he runs out of beans, Lou discovers that civilization was not, after all, destroyed on January 1, 2001.

"Let's haunt the medics who falsified our death certificates"

'I'm sorry, but your husband's life insurance policy only covered his eighth life.'

Modern day doomsayer

"I guess I could include the box... But why would you want it, Mr. Schrödinger?"

'Ya don't scare me copper. I'll break out'a dis joint an come round an poop on ya lawn.'

"Like many Americans, I allowed myself to believe the mainstream media’s distorted, dystopian portrait of President Trump. I no longer hold this belief..."

'Iy's obviously a fraud - Such a configuration could never get off the ground.'