Cat Conspiracy Theoretician Pillows

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

The Anti-Agent

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

New Road Signs to Watch For:

Alien Assumption

"Walt Disney on ice."

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

The Da Vinci Cod

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

Gremlins 47

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

An alien tries to hitch a lift at the side of the road

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

'Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.'

"Do you wanna hear something really weird?"

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

"You're getting close. This is the gift shop."

'Of course I'm paranoid and delusional, dummy! -- I was abducted by aliens, for crying out loud!'

"I remember driving to Roswell and then it goes blank."