Cat Café Explorer T-Shirts

'Freshly ground catnip on your salad?'

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

'Do you have any catsup?'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Countervailing Clichés.

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

'The dog wants to come home with us, mom!'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

'Kittens are cute, but I was thinking lion or tiger.'

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

High school sophomore Kyle Rimnard tests his theory that cafeteria meatloaf cures acne.

"Whoa! Just decaf today. I only had 15 hours of sleep yesterday."

'Hi, I'm Leo. How's the food here?'

"We have a small menu..."

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

"Neither party seems to be talking about cats."

Cat DNA is decoded.

'How can you make eye contact with a puppy and just walk on, like that?'

"But I told you he was a cross breed when you bought it!"

"Damn To-Go punks!"

A group of people sit in a coffee shop.

"Sorry for the delay -- your power toast has become all-powerful."

"How much is that Doge in the window?"

'If I were you I wouldn't eat this on an empty stomach.'