Casual Snow Loungers T-Shirts

Skier.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

"Man's best friends."

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

The Boys of Indian Summer

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

Baby it's cold outside.

Darn it, you're touching my half of the loveseat again. (Published originally on Feb. 20, 2008.)

Sick person curled up at home

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm off work. Let's catch some rays! You already have a great tan from your job! You don't need to go sunbathing. Oh, yes I do!

"Take us to your feeder."

"What do you have that's bigger than 'king'?"

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

Reserve Ants

I guess I just assumed we'd skip Take your child to work day this year. Chips.

"The heat of the flames on my feet makes me feel thankful my feet aren't on fire."

Mountain Escalator

'The reason man hasn't been to the moon in 35 years is because there's no T.V. and recliner up there.'

Hockney by the Pool

"Now bend forward to touch floor between feet- try to keep knees straight."

'This is where I'm thinking of putting my husband.'

Not quite Beverly Hills.

"Boy o boy, there's really nothing worth watching on TV late at night..."

'I think we're on different career paths.'

"For crying out loud Bill, we're pieces of broccoli. Can you just sit down and vegetate for awhile?"

When I was a kid, I dreamed of going to medical school. I wanted to be a psychiatrist. Really? But I was great at football, wound up playing in college and got derailed. Everything came so easy. Who needed medical school? House of Java.net Cybercafe. But maybe what really happened was that I suffered concussions, and lost my drive and ability. and not I just hang out all day and serve as a sex object for hot chicks. Worked out beautifully. I need to get some concussions.

Building a house.

'Pauls souns system was so loud that he had to wear earplugs'

"I don't really need to go out, but as his best friend and life coach, he needs the exercise."