Casual Jokers Pillows

"I'm not ready for a big commitment. Could I just pal around with a sidewalk a little?"

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

Infinity Tavern

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

Face Mask Romance

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

Giggle.

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

Dorothy gets a visit from her funny Valentine.

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"Uh oh. The almanac indicates an early fall - here's a back-to-school on page one!"

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

Artist Painting his Television.

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

Minnesota Weather.

"I've got a very responsible job. If anything goes wrong, I'm responsible."

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

"His legs yurn to jello when he wears Relaxed Fit jeans."

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

To save space, we eliminated hallways and doors, by adding catwalk and ladders.

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

"Sir, you said that it's high time to fix the problem, so I rearranged the furniture, watered the flowers and made fresh coffee. If that wasn't enough then maybe we should find some problems that fit our solutions."

Man with t-shirt 'I *spade* my dog'.

How to avoid a heart attack.

"I took your advice."

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'