Casual Investor Pillows

Impulse Investors Welcomed.

Company Shares - I wouldn't fancy buying any in a company I work for.

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

'So, Josh... I understand you're one of the new breed of 'casual investors'.'

'And I'm pleased to report that your stock portfolio has matured well beyond yourself, Ed.'

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

"How should we divide the teams?"

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'Anorak anoraks'.

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

Ladmag - Caution, immature content.

"I just realized that unless I'm riding for some cause, I must look like an idiot."

"I don't mind being wrong. That doesn't bother me at all! What bothers me is when other people know I'm wrong."

Fini. That show was schmaltzy, way too sentimental. I'll never criticize anything that can be described as "cheesy"!

Everyone have enough to eat and drink? We can start the discussion! I'll have a drop of wine. Do you have another cookie? I could do one more cheese puff. Got it. No one's read the book. I googled lost of reviews!

Moral Values for Dummies

Ignorance and Bliss

'I couldn't figure out how to get rid of those stupid subtitles, so I slapped some duct tape over them.'

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

This week we've explored what might happen if there were a military draft. Hear what I say: How many soldiers died today? Now back to our regular programming. My iPad's shiny. My oil stocks are soaring.

Caddy With A Cool Box

'I simply don't know what I'd do with mother, if it wasn't for the squatters!'

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."