Casual Investor Pillows

Impulse Investors Welcomed.

Company Shares - I wouldn't fancy buying any in a company I work for.

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

'So, Josh... I understand you're one of the new breed of 'casual investors'.'

'And I'm pleased to report that your stock portfolio has matured well beyond yourself, Ed.'

"How should we divide the teams?"

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'Anorak anoraks'.

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"I just realized that unless I'm riding for some cause, I must look like an idiot."

Ladmag - Caution, immature content.

"I don't mind being wrong. That doesn't bother me at all! What bothers me is when other people know I'm wrong."

Moral Values for Dummies

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

'I simply don't know what I'd do with mother, if it wasn't for the squatters!'

Caddy With A Cool Box

'Thanks, but I know all about the Dogs of the Dow. My problem is I end up with them, instead of starting.'

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."

"We're not too concerned about him not graduating. We've only made it to tenth grade so we're already proud."

Use it or lose it.

'I'm guessing it'll have to be by text.'

"Done already? Wow!" "Yup, a new record. Just under two years."

'So, read any good book lately?'