Casual Cook Gifts

'Trying to eat her dinners is the only exercise I get.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Why are they called freshers when they only eat processed food?"

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Fresh pepper?"

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Sunbathing in the park

'She'll never look for me here.'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

"Why do they call what we're wearing 'sweats'?"

Baloneystini

All-Candy Seder.

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"Fridge-to-table"

Picasso

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

Inactive wear store.

"Mixed nuts are brain food, or so I read in 'Mixed Nut Digest'."

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"Patience, you can have it back in a minute..."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

'Strong wind from the west tonight.'

'What kind of...'

"I've got a very responsible job. If anything goes wrong, I'm responsible."