Casual Coffee Enthusiast Gifts

"I wish you wouldn't embarrass me by ordering plain coffee."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Eternal Student.

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

Back to work...

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

You've Had Enough!

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

"The more coffee I drink, the more these motivational posters make sense."

Joined at the hipster.

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

Countervailing Clichés.

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Non-Power Breakfast

Writers without borders.

Law School teacher.

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).