Castle Seeker Pillows

'I'm looking for a kingdom that is a fixer-upper.'

"I'd like you to honk your horn when you see the picturesque castle!"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

The one that got away

"What the hell took so long?"

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

Hermit Crabapple Tree

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

Childrens Books. This pop-up book would make a great 3-D movie!

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Trust me. Don't do it."

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

'I meant a book report on 'Treasure Island,' not a report on the Muppet movie version.'

"Bob, the whole Cupid thing is a metaphor."

Dept. of the Treasury

Pirate dogs burying bones.

Clearing the castle's moat.

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'Why can't you collect shells like the other kids?'

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

Thoughtful gifts for that special pirate in your life.

"Wow, I was expecting to also get a pearl, but I'll take a panini."

"Enough with the garage sales, Harold."