Castle Quester Pillows

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"Do me next."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Homo Gamus

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"What the hell took so long?"

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

Gamers

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Childrens Books. This pop-up book would make a great 3-D movie!

'I think they're up to something.'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

Welcome Ghost.

"Bob, the whole Cupid thing is a metaphor."

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

'The knights are drawing closer'

Clearing the castle's moat.

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

Knight walking a dog.

"I have to pee!"

'Oh dear, Hamlet seems to have developed turrets syndrome.'

"And to think he started in accounting."

Castle Efficiency

"Put on a tie. We've been invited to the castle."

'After A Knights Hard Day'

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."