Castle Cuisine Connoisseur T-Shirts

'So much for tomorrow's guacamole - this is the last of the extra virgin olive oil!'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"He's his own worst enemy."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Early model of baggage claim"

"I come here for the pepper."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

Full English Breakfast.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"Regular service or affected?"

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"

Quartet of chefs.

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"Quick swig first?"