Casting Comedians Gifts

"You know very well what fish!"

Occu-Pie Mars

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

'Very funny!'

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'

Where do you see yourself in five years? 35.

'Mr. Whipple, what other qualifications do you have - apart from your quite excellent Donald Duck impression?'

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

Football Delivery

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

An early turning-point in old Hollywood...

"Your accomplishments speak for themselves. Unfortunately for you, I'm completely fluent in exaggeration."

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

'Human resources gave us the idea of trying 'blind interviewing'...'

"You're hired! We need someone like you to encourage humor in the workplace."

A smart alec boy

"And I suppose my greatest feature is that I don't mind kissing a little booty to get ahead!"