Casserole Connoisseur Gifts

'Dear, are you still mad at me, or do we always eat okra casserole 4 nights a week?'

Dear, this is the third time we've had broccoli casserole since you declared an end of major hostilities.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

Cheeze Wiz.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

The Main Types of Cheese

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"I come here for the pepper."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

Cheese

Full English Breakfast.

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

Baking

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

The Running of the Brie

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Regular service or affected?"

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

"I knew we'd eventually catch him. He can't run and run as fast as he once did."