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Settling a legal difference.

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Stop and Birch

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"#notguilty."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'

Intellectual Property

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

"My farewell gift!"

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Sue The Bastards

"Another slander suit!"

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'It's a treasure map.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

Arrogant junior barrister

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

'A more conservative version of the gun bill would also require a background check for all voters.'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."