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"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Braiding a Horse's Tail

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Lactose Intolerant

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

A caveman paints from life

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

Piranhaclaus

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."