Carrier Pigeon Collector Gifts

"The outfit is just for show, I mostly just text."

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

'Pull...'

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

Chicken Coupe.

A child watches as a small figure parachutes out of a tiny aeroplane that has collided with his mobile.

"No, I'm only interested in dogs and cats."

'Legend has it, he was known as the pigeon whisperer.'

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

"Hold on - 1...2...3...?"

Bird Messaging

"I'd say my biggest influence is probably Pollock."

'It's an old badminton injury.'

Dreams of different species.

'It's a dirty lie... I only drink to be sociable!'

'That's four million, one hundred and eighty straight misses, Mr Fenson. Your shooting has gone all to hell.'

National Pigeon Monument (poos on someone's head).

'But they get attached to me!'

Working from home.

"So son, this is the no-fly zone I was telling you about: although they are trying to shoot clay pigeons, it is safer to avoid the area altogether..."

'Magic'

"They’re after a younger demographic."

"But this one's an Italian pigeon! 
We don't have them like this back home."

'I might look very exotic to you kiddo, but where I come from, I'm rather common...'

George Bush Statue

Eww..Oh no, it's ok. It's just a hedgehog!

' I don't care what Mom says... I'm not taking any chances.'

Don't you think that we raised the telephone charges little too much?

"I've done a test Dad: my homing instinct is actually more accurate than my GPS Sat-Nav..."

The Very Hungry Coronavirus

"Bread crumb donations are indeed down."

"Walking may burn more calories, but you're three times as likely to nosh."

"Location, location, location."

A carriage driver interested in acquiring a different horse

'So we stopped using clays and started using our credit cards.'