Carpool Commando Gifts

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

"I can give you a little bit of focus on 2:53 next Thursday."

I drive, therefore I am.

"Stay-at-home mom" is a misnomer. I spend ten hours a day driving kids all over town!

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

A mother drives a mini-van full of kids; her bumper sticker reads "I'd rather be working".

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

Clown-filled vehicle in the car pool lane

"Am I a new parent? No, I'm a new Uber driver taking him to school."

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

A Lesson in Leadership: Misplacing your keys isn't a problem, unless you have to enlist the whole school's support to find them.

"You're fine, sir. I'm ticketing your back seat passenger for persistent, obnoxious, unsolicited advice."

How do fish get to work?

'There I was, all alone... salesmen to the left of me... salesmen to the right of me... salesmen behind me...'

'Nope. He doesn't qualify you for the carpool lane.'

'I actually find my Ghillie Suit a better camouflage option than my stripes...'

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

"You car pool guys will be going down together for x-rays."

'They've been carpooling together for 30 years.'

'Another day, another dollar.'

'This one's a hood ornament. I got it for carpooling.'

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

I'm late. Nothing you can say will convince me to drive you to school. O.K. Slam!

Car Pools.

"Is it me or is the commute to work getting worse?"

Male Green Beret applying face camouflage - female Green Beret applying lipstick.

"When I ask you to pick up the kids, you only have to get ours."

'Yes, this is romantic, but that's not why I chose this. Gas prices are up, and i can't afford dinner, movie and gas for my car.'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

"There's a guy in the trunk."

"I've been asked to talk to you boys about 'rapid building entry' techniques

Circus. It's been fun working with these circus performers on their financial planning. Those clowns are serious savers! Yeah, they've cut expenses by carpooling. The highwire walker wants a portfolio with a mixture of stocks and bonds. Having balance is her highest priority! And the lion tamer is interested only in very safe investments --- He has zero tolerance for more risk in his life. Our last meeting today is with the trapeze artist. What is your net worth? Every penny it cost!

'When is everyone else going to be driven off the road?'