Carpentry Instructor Gifts

"Bob's a tool belt."

Jack of all trades

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

D.I.Y

Welcome to Everest! No Loitering.

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

Guide to Carpentry Fish

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

Whittler's Mother.

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

'I need a hive with 50,000 bedrooms.'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

'Okay, Noah...I'm going to tell you again. Listen very carefully this time.'

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

Hardware. You're right, maybe we should sell hammers by the "pound."

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'