Carnival Foodie T-Shirts

'I'm trying to lead a healthier lifestyle. I'd like the butter on a stick, unfried.'

"It's not unhealthy, the stick happens to be very high in fiber."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Mardi Gras

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Ice Cream Surgeon

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"You do like octopus?"

What the Doctor Ordered

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Fast food. Even faster food

La Table

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Night of the Latkes

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Pigeon Little