Caring For Elderly Relatives T-Shirts

'I want the same memory cleaner that grandpa has.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Did you remember my mints?"

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

Dino Snack

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

"These are all my financial papers - with the exception of the codes to my secret Swiss bank accounts, of course."

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

'It could be hours, or it could be weeks. He's determined to hang on until he finally understands the punchline to a joke everybody else got at a cocktail party in 1947!'

"Alexa...order my shopping!"

It's a wireless.

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

Remembering His Marbles

"And for you older folks, the current time is 'nowadays.'"

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

'They're young hares, so it's OK for them to be a bit crazy in March, but thankfully, we've grown out of that!'

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

What Do You Do When You're Caring For Someone with Alzheimer's?

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

"You got this, Nana."

"Don't worry - the Power of Dad still trumps the Power of Attorney."

'Well how about rocking 'partly' around the clock then?'

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"Thanks for the painkiller mum, but how does it know which leg to go down?"

Old Vic / Adelphi Theatre

"A 12 month tour of the USA costs us less than staying at home for a year."