Carefree Investor Gifts

'The best part of growing old is not having to invest for the long term.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

'It's baseball season!'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

"Which way up do you want it?"

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Stocks edged lower on the news there's more to life than the accumulation of material things..."

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

A wiser and a better man

'The market goes up, the market goes down. And that's our business report.'

"Safe FDIC insured, guaranteed 2.65% APY...check out our new Emotional Support CDs."

"…Ommmmmmmmmmmmmoooooney, heh, heh, …ommmm…"

'Do you mind if I take the rest of my session to get your input on investor psychology?'

At The Clown Bank.

Research Study on Stock Market Forces: Fear and Greed.

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

'The Stock Market opened today, but just barely.'

"Will my bonus look big in this?"

"Have you ever wanted something so bad that you'd actually save up the money to buy it?"

"I'm not goofing off. I'm letting my money work for me."

Man to man: 'I turned down a raise because I'm afraid of heights.'

Investments: We have socially correct stocks, but 'wrong' usually pays better.

Stockmarket - "I see fear is up five points."

'The market was down today substantially on fears that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.'

Investor's Nightmare.

'I do know the value of a dollar... that's why I've asked for five...'

'He made a lot of money investing in what he knew - dog biscuit and rawhide bone futures.'

"Sure, you lost most of your money investing in this stock, but they did give you a participation trophy."

'Our Community Mental Health Foundation has given us a grant NOT to broadcast the stock market news.'

"Where do you see yourself in five years, Mr. Hawkins - still a small investor?"