Career Specialization Gifts

Bovine Proctology Graduation

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

37 years in the same position.

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"Make a lot of money."

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Go! Means NOW!

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Beware the Dog: 'Hopefully I'll grow into the job...'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

I've been working 20 hours a day. Well, that leaves you four hours to get to work.

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

"Sure, I'm a successful working bee, but sometimes, I wish I could have a family..."

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"