Career Pathway Explorer T-Shirts

"Careful, you're probably driving in the wrong lane."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

Between Offices

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Ace headhunters.

Planned service changes

The Hive, Inc. You mean I'll always be a worker, with no chance of advancement?

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

"I don't get it. I got a job at a fulfillment center and yet I'm still miserable!"

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

'From now on, Bob, you'll have to fetch your own newspaper and slippers. I'm ready for a career change.'

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."