Career Pathfinder T-Shirts

'I'm applying for a job training program to become a dairy cow instead of a beef one.'

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

Between Offices

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

Ace headhunters.

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Planned service changes

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

The Hive, Inc. You mean I'll always be a worker, with no chance of advancement?

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I... I..."

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'