Career-driven Parent Pillows

"Be there in a sec, darling. I just want to touch base with Tiffany."

'Mr. Ainsley, this is my beloved son Jarrod. He's four or five.'

"It's a GPS for busy executive mom. It tells you if your coming or going and when you'll get there!"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

Yummy Mummies

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

"I know, but all promises are off when Daddy's writing his grant proposals."

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

Run, Mike, Run!

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

'We need a dog!'

'How did our summer vacation turn intoa summer job??'

"Do you really use all of the stuff on this school supply list?"

'I couldn't find any box filler so I shredded those tax documents on your desk.'

"I think we need to spend more time with the children...how many have we got?"

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

'When I want to watch a realistic comedy about a working mom, I'll look in the mirror.'

"Here comes the airplane--once it gets clearance from the tower, which should be in another 45 minutes. Thank you for your patience."

"Lemme guess: You forgot the basil Mom asked for, and my ice cream is in your briefcase?"

Mind them while I go shopping and I'll give you 50 bucks extra!

"Amazing how having a six month old baby can motivate you to stay at the office for 16 hours a day!"

"Our training on managing a work life balance is running late so you'll need to get someone to pick your kids up."

'Congratulations. It's a latch key kid.'

'And remind your father to take out the chicken from the freezer and don't forget to do your homework.'

"Tough time getting out of the house this morning?"

"You mind if I sit here and yammer on while my kid does whatever he wants?"