Career Mom Pillows

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Let's play house. You be the stay-at-home dad, and I'll be the career mom.'

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'And remind your father to take out the chicken from the freezer and don't forget to do your homework.'

'Alert the troops I'm going back to work.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

Supermom.

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

Woman with kids at husbands office.

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

Balancing work and family

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

'Save us!'

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

"First break since 2008."

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"I'm sorry, Walter, but I need room to write."

"I noticed that since I've been working at home you've been paying me hazard pay. How did you know?"

Hassled Mother.

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

"You take care of the kids, you do the housework and you have a full-time job for which you warn less than a man who does the same? Respect... I can only fly and knock down scoundrels..."