Career-focused Parent Pillows

Sloane & Whitworth: Mommy Tracker Wanted.

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

Yummy Mummies

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"It's a GPS for busy executive mom. It tells you if your coming or going and when you'll get there!"

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

"I think I've been spending too much time here at work. When I went home last night my wife didn't recognize me and had me arrested for trespassing."

'Big Issue...'

"Amazing how having a six month old baby can motivate you to stay at the office for 16 hours a day!"

'And remind your father to take out the chicken from the freezer and don't forget to do your homework.'

'Alert the troops I'm going back to work.'

'I'm your new secretary. I'm sure you'll find I can do the job just as well as any gorgeous young thing...'

'My kid is going to Harvard, and Jim's son to Stanford- which college accepted yoyr kid, Fred? ( pix of clown on desk)

"Do I read better than Mommy?"

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

"Looks like Dad has finally given up on trying to beat us at chess."

"Be there in a sec, darling. I just want to touch base with Tiffany."

'Let's play house. You be the stay-at-home dad, and I'll be the career mom.'

"Tech CEO, community leader, mother of two – she's both inspiring and demoralizing."

"We need to hurry to your next extracurricular activity before the void of my unfulfilled ambitions catches up."

'Mr. Ainsley, this is my beloved son Jarrod. He's four or five.'

"I did my job, I grabbed my pile, and yet no voice at eventide has cried 'Well done!'"

"Congratulations! You've downloaded a baby girl, have you given any thoughts to a username?"

"I don’t care if your daughter gave it to you for Father’s Day, Glen – get rid of it."

'In today's economy, your '15 minutes of fame' will be replace by '15 minutes of job security.''

"When he grows up he wants to be a low-quality high-volume healthcare provider."

'Nanny being congratulated on arrival of new baby'

Attorneys - Mom and Pop.

"I'm a surrogate birth mother for hire. How do I claim my income?"

Interview panel - '...and what makes you the best member of my family for this job?'

"Hi, Honey—what achievements today?"