Career Criminal T-Shirts

'Oh, that's very nice - as soon as I go out to work - you go through my pockets!'

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

Caged Businessman

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Violent Crime Statistics

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

Good Cop, Annoying Kid.

Old West Bounty Hunter.

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

Our cover is francophile liberals

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

'It wasn't a hate crime, Your Honor — I actually kind of liked the guy.'

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

"Paper or plastic?"

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

Police Lineup Escape

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."