Corporate Criminals T-Shirts

"Sure, you have to spend money to make money, but first you have to steal money."

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

'I hate it when EVERYONE is a whistle blower.'

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."

"Have you ever heard about deferred prosecution agreements, Mommie?"

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

"I wanted a balloon puppy, not a balloon vision of my sad corporate future."

So tell me, Junior.

"When I said you could have a summer vacation I didn't mean the whole summer."

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'At the moment, I'm in the overseas division.'

Senior executive holding guitar hitchiking on open road in desert landscape.

"Are you going to the paper-shredding after?"

The devil's profits.

"I don't mind him running his own tech company at his age. However, I wish he would, at least, dress his age."

"I was in corporate sales for years but then I realized, I'm a gatherer not a hunter."

"How do you feel about doing time?"

"You know how to whistle, don't you? Just pick up the phone and call the S.E.C."

'They take promotions seriously here.'

"Okay, let's hear some weaknesses."

"Run for it, sir—the cops!"

Brewer & Jones: Washington, DC, New York, Attica, Leavenworth, Sing Sing.

An executive walks the plank during a boardroom meeting.

'Have legal check it out. If there are regs, and everyone finds ways to avoid them, are there really regs?'

'Freelancing might be a viable option.'

'Yes, I'm retired but my former coworkers keep calling to find out who they should kiss up to.'

"What makes you think I'm the whistleblower?"

'I loved working for the bank. I was taking home $250,000 a week.'

"It's a lot easier to throw someone under the bus when you have the app."

Butterfly businessman

"I guess this is me."