Corporate Crime Buff T-Shirts

"Have you ever heard about deferred prosecution agreements, Mommie?"

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

Now that I finally have an expense account, there's no time to eat.

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

"Hoora! I made it through another day!"

Boardroom sacrifice - 'Then we agree - the shareholders don't have to know what transpired here today.'

'A merger will enable us to have more people to blame.'

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

"I've made myself a success through a combination of long-term planning and short term tantrums."

"To be a part of our team you first have to go through me. And I'm remarkable non-porous."

'I believe the power tie has been replaced by the power pack.'

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

Well, the doctor confirmed that it's not Rosacea.

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

Parachuting with Concrete Shoes

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2

Little by little they increased their influence with the team.

"My husband's in advertising."

'Hello. Law offices of Anderson, Avery, Baer, Barton, Baston, Caggly, Cooper ... drat, who comes after Cooper?'

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

"Good news - we're merging with Pinetree Pharma. They make the cures for all the harm our drugs do."

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

"Someone needs a new diaper..." "Another shakedown!"

'How's the meeting going, Ed?'

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

'I want to thank you for sending me to those Excellency training classes.'

"Dumb ass, huh! Well there's more than one way to grill a thick sausage."

Black market trade in foodstuffs is thriving.