Corporate Crime Aficionados T-Shirts

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

'Henderson makes money the old fashioned way - White collar crime.'

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

Greed.

"Wait -- I have an app that creates a napkin to write the contract terms on."

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

"Money is life's report card."

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

"I'm sorry, but Fred isn't available. He's spending a few days in the penalty box for not being a good team player. May I help you?"

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

'Don't hesitate to critize me, Herb, whenever I think I am wrong.'

'Most of my clients are shareholders, managers and sales executives.'

"As an expert in loyalty, Fido will create an emotional bond with each customer."

"Most of us only come in two days a week now."

"You know what I miss? Meetings."

"It's a letter from my boss. He says he's not paying me for the time I've been stranded on this island."

"Let's touch base again at three."

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

"That's when we put those expensive organic snacks in the vending machines."

'Just wanted to step in say: we have a great consulting firm on this floor.'

'How's the meeting going, Ed?'

'Emotional blackmail.'

"Have you ever heard about deferred prosecution agreements, Mommie?"

'-and just where does it say 'Think BIG' Wilson?'

The Continuing Adventures of Mel Hufnagel, Corporate Head-Hunter...

Goodyear Blimp flying round globe.