Career Comedy Lover Pillows

"Any other references?"

'Since I'm a temp, I'd make excellent scapegoat material.'

"Besides currently being underpaid, over-worked, and having a crazy boss, why else did you apply?"

'I reckon you'd make an excellent door-to-door salesman!'

"I'm the one who went to market."

"There's not much call for 'the smiting of the ungodly' at the moment. Would you consider working in a call centre."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Bond James, Bond."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Showbiz Awards

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

Director/Action Man toy.

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

The first car accident.

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

Painting by the numbers for adults