Career Advice Enthusiast Pillows

"Keeping down twelve pints is rather impressive, Mr Bagley, but can you describe any other, rather more pertinent, strengths?"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"Feel free to take notes."

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

The world's most unemployable family

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'Jumping over a candle stick is known as an entry level job.'

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

"The boss told me I have to start at the bottom."

Sid Sinatra.

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

'Now then, Simpkins. What makes you think you could become a circus clown?'