Career Advice Lover Pillows

World's Second Oldest Profession: Career Counelor - "Have you considered prostitution?"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

"The boss told me I have to start at the bottom."

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

'Jumping over a candle stick is known as an entry level job.'

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Now then, Simpkins. What makes you think you could become a circus clown?'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'