Career Advancer Gifts

"This company needs a hero - not a superhero. You're overqualified."

"Before your next interview you might want a new CV, portfolio and personality."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

In basket-case.

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

Working hours.

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

The Evolution of the Bonus

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

CEO du Jour

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"My making two million a year, …. It doesn't make me seem 'Mannish', does it?"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Congratulations on breaking through the glass ceiling of the company downstairs. However, I will be sending you a repair bill.'

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'