Cardiovascular Caretaker Gifts

"Be still, my atrial fibrillations!"

City Zoo: Day Care

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Bathing the dog

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

"I had to skip my workout."

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

Changing the baby.

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

"Hey, I got you a beautiful orchid to cheer you up until it turns into just a stick protruding from dirt."

'They sure have small litters.'

Tilly Slowboy

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

'You see doctor I've been increasingly Forgetful.'

"I don't leave home without it!"

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

Wild animal - 1,500 years later...

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"