Cardboard Dwellers Fan T-Shirts

'Mr. Jones? I've found a house that fits your funds perfectly! It even has a little garden!'

The discovery of asparagus.

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

'I'm knitting a scarf for my son.'

Cannabis: Anti-seizure Medication

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

'I love what you've not done with the place.'

'Melvin, you're trying my patience.'

Man playing chess from his parked car.

"How was the play!"

'I love it when the ice rushes to my head.'

... Scooby or not Scooby ... The bard is trying to think of a name for Hamlet's dog.

"You ordered mammoth again?"

"If you can't see the sea I can recommend an optician in the High Street."

'Uh, Jake, I believe that should be 'and the skies are not cloudy all day,' not 'and we pour ourselves more Chardonnary.''

Chess Halloween

Lawn Furniture/Yawn Furniture.

'George's poltergeists are terribly clever, they assembled the coffee table for us.'

The chess pieces that fell off the chequered flag

'Hey, Mr. Harris, I've got your fresh fire wood here, where do you want it?'

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

8th Annual Chainsaw Carving Competition

Waiting For Godot And The Cable Guy

"My bottom went to sleep."

They're on Twitter and playing Twister! Neat! Twizzler?

'Donna has been taking FENG SHUI classes.'

"Your condition's not rare, but it's very collectible."

'He's at a family reunion down in the dungeon.'

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? Where do you think I should invest my tax refund? That's a great question. In my day, most people would've opted to put the funds into your standard Serta, or even a newfangled Posturepedic. Those people were morons. The more forward-thinking investor knew she'd run less of a risk of bed bugs eating her fortune if she went with a La-Z-Boy. Um ... ok, ... thanks.

Nothing on a stick vendor for beavers.

Gift Ideas #13

'On a positive note though Maurice...no flies!'

Eskimo Lego set.

"Don't worry - the dog's out at the moment."

'Do you want tea leaves or the cards?' - 'You mean you don't know.'