Card Reading Fan Gifts

'Do you want tea leaves or the cards?' - 'You mean you don't know.'

Happy Easter

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

'Look, dear, they offer cloud storage for optimistic economic projections...it's called Cloud 9.'

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

Those magnificent men and their reading machines.

'Someone must have stolen your identity. Your fingerprints are missing.'

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

Heyday.

"Welcome to the Desert Writing Workshop. Today we will focus on irony."

"My psychic tells me I was a glass of water in a previous life."

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"Would you put down that Kindle?"

'I remember when tea leaves were the state-of-the-art method of forecasting.'

'Finished! You see, I'm not slow at everything: I'm a great speed-reader...'

"And this is the electronic version."

'Oh. I thought it was just a typo on their sign.'

'The teacher says you're very clever for your age!'

Have Your Cards Read Here

"Your condition's not rare, but it's very collectible."

Man pushes stalled car off railroad track just in time! (sort of)

Accident

'Mr. Jones? I've found a house that fits your funds perfectly! It even has a little garden!'

Everyone seemed to be staring at Steven...but it turned out his eyes were just playing tricks on him.

'What the-! Who the heck's playing buffalo chips?'

'We've certainly come a long way from just a twenty per cent chance of precipitation in the form of snow.'

'What the heck ever happened to all the great polka bands.'

Fortune Teller

World series of Polka.

"No, it's not my ex-husband. Worse - my ex-bridge partner."

'You know, I think the 9:35 was my train. And here I was waiting for the 2135.'

"Come on. We've got to get our business on-line"