Carbon Impact Gifts

'It's a plaster-cast of my carbon footprint.'

Humans...What is their purpose?

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

"Please buddy, can you spare a carbon credit?"

The big pause

Methane Emissions

'I wonder if everyone else is making as much effort as us to reduce global warming.'

Each of you attending this climate conference will receive a copy of my 9,000-page study on how e-mail has saved millions of trees.

'The automatic doors won't open.' 'Your carbon footprints are too light.'

COP26 GLASGOW

Turning the switch on the environment.

"If I give up drinking...will you give up global warming?"

'Apparently it's not enough to say that 'lots of people think we do a jolly good job' anymore.'

''Course I conserve energy, Honey. I always put the mute on during commercials.'

A brilliant scientist, yet for some reason, Bert had never attended a carbon footprint conference...?

'Central Office thinks you've taken the fight for the green vote too far.'

'Looks like the work of the infamous international frequent flyer burglar - Better dust for carbon finger prints!'

'No sooner had I gotten over religious guilt when I developed eco-guilt.'

Guzzle-guzzle-guzzle

'I'm doing my bit got the planet by investing in biofuels. . . Mind you, the fact that they'll have to strip-mine South America for crop space may well put a few noses out of joint.'

2 trilobites; 'So what are you going to be when you die - oil or gas?'

'We've only cut our CO2 emissions to piss off the utilities companies.'

Asteroid Trajectory Assessment.

Pat Buchanan - Political Commentator.

Eco Town 5 miles ahead.

'Seen Al Gore lately?'

Person of the Decade

"You want to be cremated!?! Don't you realise how bad your carbon footprint will be?!"

Scientists are shocked to find the ice caps disappeared much faster than previously thought.

The Environmental Protection Agency cranks it up a notch.

Industry and environment

'Excuse me, is this cutlery carbon neutral?'

'I wanted a vehicle with the styling of a 4x4 but with a lower carbon footprint.'

"This crime has been offset by all the other crimes I didn't commit last year."