Car Wash Comedian Pillows

'I'd also like the interior cleaned.' - 'Leave the windows open.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Beware of SUV.'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

"Okay. Hit it."

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

No U-turns

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

"Why are you trying to develop a flying cow?"

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

'Our dog needs a bath too.'

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.

"It's a high tech weather control device, whenever you wash it, it rains"

Eco-friendly car wash.

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

"Yes, it does come with a tech package. It's called a battery."

The Magician world's version of Fluffy dice.

Mrs. Bortluber saves all the gunk she cleans from her computer.

'I don't need a computer to tell me I failed to fasten my seat belt or release the emergency brake.'