Car Wash Comedian Pillows

'I'd also like the interior cleaned.' - 'Leave the windows open.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Beware of SUV.'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

"Okay. Hit it."

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

No U-turns

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

"Why are you trying to develop a flying cow?"

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

'Our dog needs a bath too.'

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

'Professional ice hockey is banning hits to the head...players may now back into each other when leaving the NHL parking lot.'

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.

"It's a high tech weather control device, whenever you wash it, it rains"

Eco-friendly car wash.

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

Man crashes his car before leaving the driveway because he forgot his glasses.

Mrs. Bortluber saves all the gunk she cleans from her computer.

It's just until I stop chasing cars.

"Yes, it does come with a tech package. It's called a battery."